Let Them Know Now

I enjoy the Little House on the Prairie books so much that I re-read them each year—usually just after I finish my Christmas reading. I enjoy the TV series so much that I own the entire thing on DVD. I was recently binge-watching the series when I came to the episode in season one: If I Should Wake Before I Die. I love that one.

If you haven’t seen it, let me recap it for you. Miss Amy, an elderly friend of the Ingalls’, lives with her long-time friend Miss Maddie. The two women are just a few days apart in age. Amy is throwing an 80^th birthday party for Maddie. She receives a letter from Maddie’s daughter expressing regret that she can’t attend the party. She’s too busy. Maddie soon dies. Of course, the daughter manages to make the time to come for the funeral. As Miss Amy points out, you can miss a birthday but not a funeral.

With this in mind, Amy plans her own wake. She ropes Dr. Baker and the whole Ingalls family into helping her hold her wake on her 80^th birthday—dead or not. Dr. Baker shares word about the wake, trying not to tell too many lies in the process. The Ingalls family helps get everything set up, and also try to be as honest as possible about the “late” Miss Amy. As expected, all three of Amy’s children, including the son she hasn’t heard from in years, show up for the wake. One son expresses regret that we don’t realize how much they mean to us until they’re gone. About that time, Amy shows herself. After their initial anger subsides, they realize how right she is.

And she is right. I’m not saying that throwing a sham wake (or funeral) is a good idea. I’m simply saying that it is much more important to visit those we love while they’re still alive than it is to attend their funerals.

I’ve reached an age at which my parents’ generation is definitely elderly. My father (who would have been 100 this year) was one of thirteen siblings. Eleven of them lived to be adults and have families. Of those siblings, only two are still living. My mother is in her 80s. (Yes, she married a man 17 years older. I may tell that story one of these days.) Mom is one of four siblings. One of her brothers passed away several years ago. Thankfully, Mom and the other two are still living. But I am well aware that they are all getting older, as we all are.

With this in mind, The Furry Guy and I do our best to make visits to family as often as we can. We know we need to make this happen, since it won’t just happen on its own.

Of course, it isn’t just the elderly we need to be intentional about seeing. We are both now officially old. (The Furry Guy recently turned 60.) Our generation is getting to the age when a lifetime of bad habits catches up to us and when diseases tend to take hold.

And, accidents can take loved ones of any age. I know, this blog is taking a dark turn. But it isn’t my intention to focus on the negative. My point is that we need to take the time to spend time with people we love.

Whether those loved ones are friends or family, they deserve our time and attention. Do your best to attend family functions and reunions.  I know that when those loved ones are far away, it can be difficult to find the time and resources to visit often. But that shouldn’t keep us from making a call or writing a letter. These days we can even do video calls, which can be much more personal than a standard call.

Is there someone you haven’t talked to in a long time? Make the time this week to write, call, or plan a visit. Take the time to connect. Do it now, while they can appreciate your efforts.